Funny Looking Rocks Sedimentary Rock With Glasses Joke
A chemist, a physicist, and an economist...
are all trapped on a desert island, trying to figure out how to open a can of food.
"Let's heat the can over the fire until the can explodes" says the chemist.
"No, no," says the physicist, "lets drop the can onto the rocks from the top of a tall tree"
"I have an idea," says the economist. "First, we assume a can opener..."
A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...
He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.
Poor Ajmal.
After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".
What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and Charlie Chaplin?
One rocks the mic, while the other mocks the reich.
What is a mountain climber's favorite drink?
Anything on the rocks.
I've got a horrible memory.
I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.
How do Malaysian airlines serve all their drinks?
On the rocks
So my brother is dating a mermaid.
Yeah, apparently their relationship's on the rocks.
What's a baby seals' least favourite drink?
Canadian Club on the Rocks
Why are girls like rocks?
You skip the flat ones.
Sandwich Walked Into a Bar
So a Sandwich walked into a bar, hopped up on a barstool and took a look at the drink menu. Bartender walks over. Sandwich says to bartender, "lemme get one of those margaritas, rocks, no salt.". Bartender responds in his most disgusted tone, "Sorry, we don't serve FOOD here…."
You can explore rocks schist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rocks gravel dad jokes. There are also rocks puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A horse walks into a bar
A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"
The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"
"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse
"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "why? Are they short on electricians?"
Moss and Algae take a liking to each other.
Algae and a Moss took a liking to each other and soon after got married. After a few years they realized their marriage was on the rocks.
Every N.W.A song
Verse 1: Sellin' crack rocks and shootin' muthafuckas!
Verse 2: Police pull me over just 'cause I'm brown.
How are women like rocks?
You skip the flat ones.
What did the naturalist say when he saw a number of rocks covered in moss?
"I'm lichen what I see"
A gorilla walks into a bar
and says "I'd like a toddler on the rocks, please"
WALKS INTO A BAR... FRUGAL GORILLA
A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.
The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.
The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here."
The gorilla replies, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back, either.
I saw a sign that said "Falling rocks"
I tried. It doesn't.
Paper, Rock, and Scissors were sitting at a table playing Poker
They are playing a hand and Rock goes all in, Scissors places $50, and paper snapped in a half and dies.
Scissors asks, "What happened?".
Rocks replies, "I think he folded".
What Would The Rocks Boyfriend Be Called?
Fruity Pebble..
At least people that have hit rock bottom are disciplining their pet rocks
This joke brought to you by my ten year old son
Holmes and Watson were investigating a murder at an archaeological dig-site
Holmes picks up several of the rocks and pebbles surrounding the murder victim. After a while, Holmes turns to his companion and says "I've cracked the case. The suspect was clearly murdered with a blow to the head by a rock, which then crumbled and scattered into pieces."
"How on Earth can you tell?" exclaims Watson.
"It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
What do you call huge dancing rocks?
Technotonic plates.
You'd think glass would taste like rocks..
But it just tastes like blood.
Baby Boomers like to call Millenials stupid.
Aren't you the guys who were buying "pet rocks"?
How does the siren like her Captain Morgan?
On the rocks...
Three vampires walk into a bar.
The first asks for a pint of blood.
The second asks for blood on the rocks.
The third asks for hot water and as the bartender is about to ask why the vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm just gonna have a tea."
Remember when Pop Rocks used to be popular?
Sad, they kind of fizzled out.
My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals..
He's just mining his own business.
Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks?
Because they're a little meteor
My friend said I was not assertive enough to farm rocks.
You should have seen the look on his face when I grew boulder.
An alcoholic walks into a bar, first thing in the morning,
And sits down at the bar. His friend, the bartender says "Whiskey on the rocks, as usual?"
The man responds, "It's too early..."
The bartender is shocked, "Too early for a drink? For you?" He asks, surprised.
The man looks at him and says,
"No, for stupid questions."
My bacon kept curling in the frying pan
so I took away their little brooms and rocks.
Students are excited to attend the geology class at the local school.
They say it totally rocks.
3 Belgians are sitting next to a river
3 Belgians are sitting next to a river, A crocodile swims past and they start to throw rocks at it. The crocodile gets angry and begins to swim towards them. 2 of them run and climb in a tree. They shout to the other "Why are you staying there, you better run before the crocodile comes!"
He replies "Why I didn't throw any Rocks"
I prefer my alcohol like I prefer children
Aged in a barrel and chilled on the rocks in my cellar
What type of rocks are hipsters?
Igneous rocks, because they were magma before it was cool.
How do Gorons take their bourbon?
On the rocks
Geologists really love rocks....
...that's why they date them!
Mary Magdalene is about to be stoned for adultry
Just as the crowd was about to start throwing rocks, Jesus walks up and says "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Nobody moves, but then a stone comes flying out from the crowd and hits Mary right in the face. Jesus turns to see who threw the stone and says "I told you not to bother me when I'm working mother!"
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
I was wondering why a guy was throwing rocks at me
And then it hit me.
Fidget spinners are useless
Says the generation that bought 1.5 million pet rocks.
My dad is a geologist and has been dating rocks for years...
His best advice is to just be gneiss and try not to be a little schist.
Trump wakes up, goes to the garden and starts picking up random rocks...
He picks a rock, carefuly examines it from from all sides, carefully puts it back and then goes to find another one. After this has been going on for a couple of days, his cabinet starts to get nervous, so Pence calls Putin to see if he can help them.
"Hey Vlad! It's Mike. Listen, we have a little problem..."
He describes the situation and Putin promises to look into it. After a few minutes Putin calls back.
"He should be fine now. It was our fault, sorry. We accidetnally sent him instructions meant for our lunar lander."
My wife just had to have a house on the quarry...
Ever since then our relationship has been on the rocks.
Geology rocks,
But geography is where it's at.
We live on a tiny, useless ball of rocks and water, floating through the vast expanse of outer space
But it means the world to us.
The highway sign said, Watch for falling rocks.
And I thought, OK fine, but I only have 10 minutes.
Where do rocks go when they die?
The sedimentary.
What do you call small rocks?
mini-rals.
(found a book of jokes my daughter wrote when she was 8...this was the best of the lot)
A man lost in the desert with his camel
Every day he gets lonelier and lonelier, when it gets to the point he decides he is going to have sex with his camel, but he couldn't reach, so every day he would try and try again to have sex with his camel standing on hills and on rocks but the camel would just try to run away. until one day, he comes across a beautiful woman, she asks for some water and will give anything in return so he says, can you hold my camel?
What do rocks use for personal hygiene?
Geoderant!
Chinese and Indian troops have been fighting each other with sticks and rocks...
looks like they decided to go directly to world war 4.
Girls are like rocks
The flat ones are skipped
My sister told me this one
What is the similarity between girls and rocks?
The flat ones get skipped.
I like my relationships like my whisky
On the rocks
Trust me you should never punch rocks
I found out the hard way
I'm not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks
It makes me boulder
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.
Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Hawaii.
Chuck can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass..................at night.
When Chuck is in Rome, they do what HE does.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one questions why.
Whats a ships favorite drink?
Anything, as long as its not on the rocks!
What's heavier, 1 lb of rocks, or 1 lb of feathers?
The feathers, because you're carrying the weight of what you did to those birds.
A Rabbi, a priest, and a preacher are out in a boat one day.
The rabbi tells the two he's hungry, so he steps out of the boat and walks across the water to land, where he claims his snack.
Shortly later the priest decides he's thirsty, so like the rabbi, steps out the boat and walks across the water to land, getting a bottle of water.
The preacher seeing this decides he could go for a snack and a drink, and tries to do the same as the rabbi and priest. As soon as he exits the boat, he immediately plunged into the water.
On land, the rabbi tells the priest maybe we should've told him where the rocks were
A baby seal walks into a bar.
Bar keep asks, "what do you want?"
The baby seal replies, "anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks."
Geology rocks but geography is where it's at...
What did the tectonic plates say when they bumped into each other?
My fault, sorry!
A seal walks into a bar...
The bartender asks, What would you like?
"Anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks."
A healthy marriage is built on a strong foundation
That is why my marriage is on the rocks
Here's one I came up with tonight: What kind of rocks are best at making "get well soon" cards?
Sentimentary rocks.
In the Irish army there is a sniper famous for eliminating targets by bouncing his shots off of rocks and other hard surfaces
His name is Rick O'Shea
A cute little girl walks into a pet store and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."
A seal asked the bartender for a drink...
He gave him a Canadian Club - on the rocks.
To a geologist, what's the difference between rocks and a kid?
If you date a kid, you get sent to jail
In my outdoor nature class I pointed out some lichen growing on granite and taught them the mnemonic Freddie fungus took a likin' to Alice algae to teach them about the symbiotic relationship. One 5th grade boy responded
Looks like their relationship is on the rocks. He'll make a great dad some day.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/rocks-jokes.html
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